Hi everyone, (if anyone’s still there 
Just wanted to drop a few lines to let everyone know how things are going here in Charleston. Judah just completed his 3rd semester and only has about 6 weeks of school left for the year (after we get back from this vacation). So far this has been his best school year scholastically and disciplinarily (?).. So thank the Lord for that. I think we are both adjusting well, including days and occasionally a week of some pretty down moments. Shayna has been here for several months, and through a series of life changing decisions ( ) has decided to move here to Charleston to be a intigrual part of Judah’s life. It is very difficult for me to put into words the impact that she has had on Judah and I. She has taken Judah into her arms and treats him like her very own. Judah is completely in love with her too! She loves on him and picks him up from school everyday. She takes him to the park, and does cool stuff with him just like Ramey did. Soon she will be taking him to drum lessons once a week in Mt. Pleasant to begin his musical career. Shayna is 1 of 2 , of the most wonderful girls ever made in the USA… (thanks Terry and Kathy
So about our Easter Vacation…were heading to Lynchburg this week to get away. Work has been good, but I’m getting pretty worn out. I think statistically I usually take a vacation every three months max. So right now I’m at my three months and I am completely worn down. I am very thankful for my job, but I can’t wait to leave my pager at the house, and not worry about answering my cellphone for a week. I don’t know if we will do anything overly cool, but I really don’t care. I think Shay and I are planning on hiking the Peaks of Otter one day if we can. Other than that I think we may go to Busch Gardens for a day, but if we don’t thats ok, Judah just wants to get there and play with all of his friends and I am excited for him to play with them too.
Ok…so many people have been asking me lately…so how are you doing…..well honestly this week…..pretty blah! Wait a minute, how can he be so blah…hes always doing so well? you ask. I laugh to myself as I write this because I really did have a terrible week, but the Lord has really strengthened me today, and I am really thankful. I think, like all of us, that even when we go through difficulties and survive them, and are doing well, we can sometimes go backwards, and look at our circumstances and say…..”wait a minute Lord, I thought my life would be back together by now, whats going on?” Sometimes I think, how long Lord before life is good again. I’m sure that many of you can relate to that feeling. I don’t mean that we were running on adrenaline, but that there are definitely times in our life where we requestion the Lord’s decisions. I personally sometimes find myself saying…”Lord, was there any other way? Did it have to go down like this? Can I trade for my old life back?” The answer is obviously “no”, but it is an honest feeling, and usually for me begins a good dialogue of prayer between me and the Lord. But, as usual the Lord brings me back to scripture, and solidifies what he said to me long ago. 2 Corinthians 4:17, 18
As I was opening the cabinet drawer to the left of the refrigerator yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice the handwritten schedule of vitamins that Shayna had written for Ramey last year to remind her of what to take, and when. At the bottom of the sheet was the above scripture and it reads:
” For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
The apostle Paul wrote that. Big deal right. Sure anyone can endure light afflictions. But look who’s talking here. Paul, who had been beaten many times, thrown in prison, shipwrecked, and probably stoned to death (but supernaturally healed Acts 14:19, 2 Corinthians chapter 12) So wait a minute, I think, as I’m staring at this verse on the vitamin list. Paul’s saying hang in there…why? Because these light afflictions are temporary, and they are “light” in comparison with the amazing eternal changes are taking place in us that will define who we are in Christ for all eternity. The outside view of these afflictions in our life, are small potatoes in comparison to what these trials are really developing inside of us for all of eternity. Paul is saying, “please….give me more….if this is what it takes to produce eternal changes in me.” According to 2 Cor chapter 12, many scholars believe that Paul was referring to himself when he said that..” I knew a man in Christ….one caught up into the third Heaven….how that he was caught up into paradise….and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter.” As Paul alludes in the following verses, what God revealed through revelation to him during this time was so magnificent that he was given a “thorn in the flesh” to keep Paul humble (v.7)
So why is that so important. I look at Paul’s life, he gave up probably his wife (because he was part of the Sanhedrin, and part of their requirements were to have been married, and his wife is never mentioned ) because he became a follower of Christ, he was nearly beaten to death many times. He was constantly being falsely accused by the Jews. His LIFE WAS DIFFICULT.. This is what I think. When Christ revealed himself to Paul, he saw the risen Lord for who he was. This was so real to Paul, that Paul no longer considered his life to mean anything except for the sake of the Cross. Paul says in v. 10 ” Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” Paul’s life is an example to us, that these things that come into our life are to bring our dependence back to God, and to develop our ” spiritual man” to be above and beyond what we so often times want to settle our Christian walk to be. Are there times when we are going to think, we can’t make it through, its too difficult. Yes, I know I do. We have to remember that God is developing our Faith. For without Faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). An example of this comes to mind for me. When I graduated from the Police Academy and subsequently from my training officer, I was left to “Police” on my own. Being 22 years old, I often thought, I have no idea what I am doing, and this is crazy to think that people are counting on me to know what I am doing. I told this to several senior officers, and their reply was..your fine, you know what your doing. I always thought to myself..”No I don’t!” There were many scary moments there for the first few years, but over time I developed a pretty good sense of what to do, and how to make good decisions; but it wasn’t because I clung to my training officer, it was because I stepped out “in faith” so to speak, and did it.
When I went through Ramey’s trial, I hit the same moments, of …”I can’t do it….I’m not ready…..I’m not prepared…….” As I looked at my current plight, I couldn’t help but remember back to how many times in my life I felt that way, and how many times I realized that yes..I was ready, I was prepared, but I just didn’t realize it because I was afraid. The Lord showed me that..yes I was prepared to go on without Ramey. What? Yes, I was prepared. God said, ”Your ready, your going to have to walk by faith, not by sight.” It was during this time that I said back to God, ”OK Lord..if your saying this is whats going to happen, then your going to have to give me the strength to do it..to get through this.” When I surrendered this part of my life…my desire for Ramey to be healed…my ideal plans for my life, for my family, for the future, God supernaturally gave me the grace and strength to complete the work that he began in me (Philippians 1:6).
So why am I saying this tonight. Because like you, I question , I second guess..whether I am really ready for this…”this is too hard Lord”, I think to myself sometimes, but he whispers softly…”Your ready, your prepared, walk by Faith, not by sight. ” As I was at a very low point yesterday, I read that verse….”light afflictions….eternal weight of glory”, and I get it again. This is about eternity, and what God is developing in me. This is for you too, your trials and tribulations are not for nothing, God is preparing you and prepping you, and training you, just like a boot camp, for your the future, for eternity. Don’t get swept up in the temporary difficulties of this life. Its all going to be worth it. All of it.
Love,
John
P.S. I have been volunteering with Hospice and have some awesome experiences to share with you guys. Hopefully I will write it later this week.
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